Naked. Together. Bathing.

I used to feel uncomfortable taking my clothes off in front of Korean women, but now I am somewhat used to it.

(Luigina in 찜질방 Korean bathhouse uniform)

Have you been to a Korean 찜질방 bathhouse before? 

Communal bathing has a long history in Korea and Japan, and it is still popular in Korea in the form of the 찜질방 bathhouses, and in Japan in the form of Onsen (hotsprings, sometimes found outdoors or in Ryokan traditional accomodation).

To give you a hint of what happens here... you have to be naked in front of many people.  Although, that said, ladies are naked with other ladies/girls.  Men are naked with other men/boys.  No mixed-gender naked business going on.  I have heard of a number of (Secret?  Hidden?) Korean bathhouses just for gay men, but I haven't been there myself. 

To give you a brief breakdown of what happens in a traditional Korean bathhouse 찜질방 (for females… although the dude’s bathhouse protocol is quite similar, from what I have heard);

Step 1: Arrive.  Pay entrance fee.  Collect towel and colored uniform (to wear after bathing).  Take shoes off.  Put shoes in a lock-compartment. 

Step 2: Go inside Women’s area.  Find a compartment for your clothes/bag (this should match the number of the shoe cabinet).

Step 3: Take off clothes, and store them in the clothes/bag compartment.  Take your towel.  Head to the bathing area.  Carry shampoo, conditioner, face wash, soap etc... in a small tray/bag/whatever.

Step 4: Enter bathing area.  Head to the shower area first.  Hose down your body thoroughly.  Wash hair.  Wash face. Wash bits and pieces.

Step 5: Put your stuff down.  Head over to the hot bath, cold bath, steam room, ice room.. whatever you prefer.  Every 5-10 minutes or whatever... you can choose a different option.  You can also get your body forcefully exfoliated by a professional 때밀이, which is basically an older woman who lies you down and then attacks you from all angles with her exfoliator and she exfoliates you in places that you never would expect to get exfoliated.  Usually I have trouble walking afterwards. 

Step 6:  When you have finished getting hot, cold, hot, cold, hot, cold, hot, cold, exfoliated and whatever... then you can rinse yourself off under the showers again.

Step 7: Put on your colored uniform.  Head into the male/female communal recreational area.  Drink 식혜 rice drink.  Eat a boiled egg.  Lie down on a mat.  THE END.

 I cried a little when I had my first bathhouse 찜질방 experience in Korea.  I was qute anxious about being naked in front of Korean women (especially in front of my Korean female friends). 

I have experienced bathhouse cultures in different countries, such as Onsen (hotsprings) in Japan, and a similar kind of Onsen in Taipei, Taiwan.  I have also tried various types of Saunas in the northern part of Sweden (near Kiruna, when I stayed in the Ice Hotel in 2007).  

There are a few reasons why I feel uncomfortable about being naked with Korean girls (or perhaps just girls in general);

·         Growing up in Australia, girls were somewhat competitive about breast size in High School.  I think among my High School friend-group of 9 girls I was always ranked last in terms of chest size, which meant I probably had the least recognition and power in the group.  That’s how girls organize hierarchies in rural Australian high schools.  (Also, how popular you are with boys gives you a higher ranking… again, I was ranked last)… anyway, due to growing up in this ‘chest-competitive’ atmosphere… I generally don’t like to show my chest to any girls… (or guys, I’m Catholic, as you know…)

·         I hate to generalize about this point, but there are some notable physical differences between Korean girls and Western girls (whatever a ‘Western girl’ is… that’s a hideously broad ‘label’…).  So, generally we might note that Western girls are bigger than Korean girls.  Western girls = Bigger hips.  Bigger ass.  Bigger shoulders.  Perhaps a little bit taller.  Perhaps a bit wider in the thighs.  Perhaps a bit wider everywhere.  These factors make me feel somewhat awkward when standing naked next to Korean girls.  I may look like a giant white rhino next to a slim and cute Korean lamb. 

·         I don’t have any tattoos, but I did have some piercings when I first came to Korea.  Due to bathhouse etiquette I got rid of my more unconventional piercings (I still have pierced ears) because piercings just stand out too much in the traditional Korean bathhouse.  I have some friends with tattoos, and they are STARED AT A LOT in Korean bathhouses.  If you are a foreigner with tattoos, it may be totally uncomfortable for you if you visit a Korean bathhouse 찜질방 (although I don’t want to discourage you… but sometimes Koreans still associate body tattoos with ‘dangerous people’…i.e. mafia, Yakuza from Japan, Korean mafia dodging military service by heavily tattooing their bodies etc etc…).

Yakuza in the Japanese Bathhouse... ;

(Photo Source: weirdasianews.com)

·         Korean women/girls have different ideas about ‘shaving’, ‘waving’ etc etc.  I feel so rude and uncomfortable talking about this… but in my home country (Australia), there is a sort of expectation that women groom hair…down there.  I don’t mean to be crass.  I mean in Australia (especially especially especially in SUMMER) women wax, or shave, or permanently remove hair around the bikini line.  Some prefer the Brazilian wax, which basically means there is NOTHING DOWN THERE… like… smoother than a seal pup.  I FEEL AWKWARD TALKING ABOUT THIS TOPIC…EEEK.

So, as a MASSIVE, AWFUL, UNCOMFORTABLE GENERALIZATION… when I have been in the Japanese Onsen or in a Korean 찜질방 bathhouse,  I have noticed that culturally, Japanese and Korean women have a more natural approach to that area… that is… I have never seen anything like a Brazilian wax or a ‘landing strip’ (thin line of hair) in Japan and Korea.  I'm not a pervert, but it is hard to avoid seeing a lot of bush in the Korean bathhouse.

Grooming is a really popular topic to talk about with Korean girls, so eventually I always have to ask; ‘Erm… so… err…waxing, or….erm….shaving?... Down…there…?’

Every Korean girl I have talked to has told me; ‘Hmm… Korean girls don’t really do that… that is Western style’. 

That said, I am sure there must be Korean girls who are enjoying the relative comfort of a professional brazilian wax, I just haven't seen any in a Korean bathhouse before (and there ARE a lot of women over 40 in the bathhouses too... so part of this could be a generation-gap).

As such… I have to admit, that Brazilian waxes have become somewhat of an expectation in Western society due to the influence of Western pornography... where... bald is seemingly the standard.   Japanese porn (Korean porn hardly exists due to censorship laws... and the quality can not compete with Japanese pornography) features a lot of 'natural hair' down there... so I think that is just the  ongoing fashion in Japan (and Japanese pornography...).

It only occurred to me since living in Korea that waxing and shaving is rather a culturally-influenced practice.  Occasionally I see a Chinese movie, and occasionally a Chinese actress has a hairy armpit.  This interests me.  This is not a common image in Western movies, so of course I am curious to know more...

I have grown accustomed to this communal bathing... so...

See you at the bathhouse 찜질방 ~~~~~~ !! ^^ 같이가요...ㅋ !!

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Note: AFTER THIS ARTICLE WAS INITIALLY PUBLISHED I was informed that the term 때밀이 is a slightly derogatory and offensive term for some Koreans, and that the more politically correct term to use in this instance is 목욕관리사. Apologies to all.

Bathroom Selca ~~ 화장실 셀카

What are you doing in the bathroom right now? 

If you are in Korea, you may be pressed against the mirror, checking your teeth, or waving your smart-phone around to get a good Bathroom Selca 화장실셀카 shot.

(Bathroom Selca taken in Yonsei University International House Dormitory 기숙사)

I previously ran through some Subway Selca angles with you during a previous post here; http://luiginakorea.blogspot.com/2011/08/subway-selca.html

So, you already know that Selca = Self-picture, and you know that it takes great precision and diligence to take professional-looking selca pictures like Kpop Selca pros, such as Sandara Park 산다라박, and also Jesus 예수.

Check it out... Jesus 예수 working an excellent Bathroom Selca angle;

(Photo Source: enamu.tumblr.com)

Today, I am going to fill you in on some tips for Bathroom Selca (also known loosely as... Luigina's Terrific Bathroom Selca Parody Episode I).

Here are some basic rules for bathroom selca, to get you educated on this very high-brow artistic activity:

(Bathroom Selca shot taken in Paris)

1) Go out of your way to make others feel uncomfortable in public bathrooms.  That is, PUSH OTHER FEMALES OUT OF THE WAY if you need to get up against the mirror to get a good shot.

(Bathroom Selca taken in Seoul, 강남)

2) Don't worry if it takes 2.5 hours to take a good shot, you have ALL DAY to take a good shot in the bathroom of STARBUCKS.

(Bathroom Selca taken in Sydney, Australia)

3) TRY NOT TO LOOK TOO ENTHUSIASTIC IN YOUR SHOTS.  A cool or disinterested facial expression gives the impression that you are just hanging out in the public bathroom for recreational reasons...not because you actually go to the bathroom to use the bathroom... like... OMG... who actually USES a PUBLIC BATHROOM?  Like...woah.

(Completely disinterested Bathroom Selca Shot, 광화문 Seoul)

4) Try to pick LUXURY BATHROOMS in places like Shinsegae Department Store 신세계 백화점, or the lobby of the Marriot.  People will guess that this department store bathroom is kind of like your 'official office', where you hang out like... ALL THE TIME...It totally translates as your 'luxury work space'... nobody knows you're unemployed, right?

Tres-ridiculous Art-installation Bathroom, Seoul 방배;

(Bathroom Selca taken in Seoul, Bangbae)

5) Try to include your friends in the shots... to indicate that you enjoy BATHROOM PARTIES...

(Bathroom Selca shot taken in Osaka)

... but don't forget to also take photos of yourself alone...when the bathroom party starts to wind down...

(Bathroom Selca shot taken in Osaka)

6) Put on your hotel robe and take some Hotel Bathroom Selca... Of course... if you happen to pack a robe, and put it on in the 'Luxury Bathroom' in Shinsegae Department Store, maybe nobody can tell the difference...right?

(Bathroom Selca shot taken in W Hotel Seoul Walker Hill)

... then add a long shot to show how elegantly you wear the robe...

(Bathroom Selca shot taken in W Hotel Seoul Walker Hill)

6) To create mystery, turn on the shower in your hotel bathroom (if...that is...you are in a Hotel) to get some sexy steam happening... to create a professional 'stage-manager-misty-fog' feel;

See 동방신기 Jaejoong;

(Photo Source: heartitall.blogspot.com)

7) Pack a sombrero, Chinese Ming Dynasty vase, fake-moustache, small animal etc to accessorize with during your bathroom photo-shoot frenzy...

If you are not a very creative person... a safari hat will suffice...

(Bathroom Selca shot taken in Barcelona)

White Chicks (백인여자)

A Korean friend sent me this picture today and asked (jokingly?);      ‘Is this You?’...

This is a picture of a 'Western Girl' protesting at Gangnam Station, Seoul about how all of the women of the world should have the freedom to wear mini-skirts. 

I can not quite understand the exact purpose of the protest, as mini-skirts are really popular in South Korea... and I can't help thinking that maybe some Koreans would look at this Western girl protesting, and perhaps get the wrong idea completely...

I know that wherever you go in the world, there are always generalizations.  Like, ‘All Jews are funny’, or ‘All Chinese are good at Math’, or ‘All women are straight’.  Sometimes people don’t even know when they are misjudging somebody based on race or gender. 

I have today compiled a few of the generalizations about ‘western women’ that I have found while studying and working in Seoul (that said, some of these factors may also sometimes apply to Korean perceptions of white dudes…).  I would like to note that I do not get seriously offended by any of these ‘generalizations’ by Koreans (although the one related to sexuality is a bit awkward)...

.... but I just feel like I have to overextend myself sometimes to explain that; ‘Yes, perhaps some white chicks do XYZ, but not all white chicks do XYZ…’.  I know that citizens of my home country (Australia) have some unjustified and often insensitive ideas about different cultures too.  ...I have heard really strange generalizations about Italians since I was a kid.  How many times has an Australian reader met me in person and said; ‘Oh, I was expecting a curvy Italian with spaghetti sauce on her shirt…’.  ****Awkward!!****  (The benefits of having a difficult Italian name, right?)  Sorry to disappoint.    

Here are some weird/completely misguided stereotypes I have overheard in Australia (of course… not all Australians think these things… that would be dreadful);

* Indians = good at computers/IT

* Italians = big bottoms (women)

* Korean = study machines (maybe not that off the mark?  Hahha…)

* Chinese = excellent violin players (yes… all Chinese must be brilliant at the violin, right?)

* Japanese = secretly ninja-stalking you (…just ridiculous…gosh)

* British = awful scary teeth (I can not agree…)

* New Zealand = sexy relations with sheep  (ohh yeaah baaahhh)

* American = excessively patriotic (…hmm… maybe not all)

* South African = rich (not always)

* Canada = say ‘what aboooot’ all the time (not true…)

Now, I do not support ANY of these stereotypes…

But I can acknowledge that stereotyping/generalizing comes from not having enough interaction with certain cultural and regional groups… of course…

So anyway… here are the stereotypes I have encountered in Korea relating to Western Chicks (…what a broad and annoying term that is…ahh…):

1)      Western girls cannot use chopsticks:

If I am in a group, with Koreans, and some other foreigners, it seems that the white girl is usually targeted first with; ‘Oh, do you know how to use these?’  (**cue annoying chopstick hand motion).  If someone hands me a spoon, I am really offended.  Even though I grew up in rural Australia, I did learn how to use chopsticks from about the age of 12 or so, because Chinese food is rather popular in every part of  Australia (…yes, even in Broken Hill…).  And then, when I was 19 I went to China and stayed with a Chinese family.  I am not scared of chopsticks. 

2)      Western girls are big ladies, with large shoulders and large breasts:

I often get comments like; ‘you really don’t have the body of a Western girl.  Where are your breasts?’.   It’s true, I don’t really have much going on in the front, but some Koreans have an idea that all Western women have been blessed with giant Baywatch-esque watermelons attached to their front side (this may be a result of Koreans watching western pornography?  I am not sure).  Again, I’m sorry to disappoint you!!

3) White girls look 10 years older than their actual age:

I have heard a number of Koreans say something like this; 'If a Korean girl is 25, she looks 15.  If a White girl is 25, she looks 35'.  White chicks look ooooooollldddd (ㅋㅋㅋㅋ).  So some Koreans get confused when I share with them that my Korean age is 28.  They sometimes freak out and say; 'But white women have fine lines, smile lines, frown lines, crows feet, and XYZ lines... where are your lines?!?'.  I know that Koreans usually use Lindsay Lohan as a comparison, and it is true that Lindsey Lohan does look about 47 (face-wise), but not all Western girls have lazy eyes and premature lines like Lindsay Lohan (sorry to be so harsh to the poor lass). 

4) White women are carb-munchers:

It is rather awkward when I have to meet a Korean for work and when I show up they present me with a giant pizza or a burger combo.  Like WHATAHJSDJHFGDFG ?!?  I'm not American, woah woah woah HOLD UP NOW.  I know that there is perhaps a general idea that white people eat pizza, french fries, and cheese for breakfast, but that is simply not the case (particulary coming from Australia, too).  So if I meet you, please do not hold our appointment in McDonalds... or ... I may cry a little bit... because I really prefer to eat 순대 sausage, or seafood pancake 해물 파전.  My mother is particularly anti-McDonalds and anti-fast food in general (and she is also one of those over-enthusiastic 4-hour gym session ladies...eek...diligent).

5)        Western girls are not good at Korean.

This week there was a group meeting with some Korean company managers, two Singaporean males, a Philippino/American male, and myself.  A brief was given to the 외국인 foreigners (including myself) in Korean, but the boss kept peering over at me like; ‘알겟지? 이했어?’.  Maybe he didn’t mean to make me feel inadequate, but I felt like he was kind of challenging me, like I have to prove myself more because I am female (and white??  Not sure).  I am no K-pop expert from Singapore, but I can understand Korean.   (That said, almost every Chinese and Japanese girl that I have met in Korea speaks rather good Korean.  I have met some German and Norwegian girls who speak Korean like a native, but most of the American girls I meet cannot read or speak Korean and are not so interested….so yes, in Korea most Asian foreign chicks have better Korean skills than North American foreign chicks…but I’m Australian, so I will just hang out by myself…in my own weird niche).

6)      Western Girls Have Sex with Everything and Everyone.  Even the old man on the subway.

Ok, maybe not all Koreans think this way, but I was warned by my Korean friends before I moved to Korea that; ‘Many Korean males presume that Western girls are very promiscuous and not picky’.  Ouch.  That’s quite lovely (ㅠ.ㅠ).  Perhaps partly due to the human trafficking of Eastern European women to Korea over the past few decades, women with ‘white face’ seem to be often linked with ‘sexual services’ in Korea.  I have read a number of accounts by ‘white chicks’ who were assaulted or injured, and when they went to the hospital or police in Korea no one would help them until they could show their (North American) passport and prove that they were not working as prostitutes in Seoul.  It sounds like a rather terrible situation, but I have not had this problem personally with medical services in Korea, so I really hope that things have changed, in that respect. 

I have heard some different expressions from Korean guys that sound a little like this;

Korean Girls = virgins

Western Girls= legs open

I think this vague idea may come from Gossip Girl, or from American movies (which are popular in Korea, but less popular than Korean movies), which suggest that American girls are always taking off their knickers in elevators, and in office stationery rooms (I swear I never saw that as an exchange student in Florida).  Korean dramas/movies very very very very very rarely show anything naughtier than a shy gaze over a Mathematics textbook.  This creates a strange contrast, whereby Western media represents the Western girl undressed at every occasion, and rather incongruously, the Korean media represents the high morals and high selectivity of Korean females. 

Anyway, these kinds of sexual attitudes have been directed at me in these ways;

a)      I often get asked; ‘Where did you meet your (Korean) boyfriend?  …. In a bar? In a club?  (this may imply that I am a white female cougar of the night, hunting unsuspecting young Korean males in Hongdae… not true).  They are so disappointed when I say; ‘소개팅’. (blind date)

b)      I am sometimes approached by old men in Korean restaurants who thinks that I am an actual prostitute 몸파는여자. You can read more on this Prostitution point here http://luiginakorea.blogspot.com/2011/08/prostitute.html.

c)       When I had a short summer contract with a Korean company a while ago the Korean boss approached me like this; ‘We are going to fire you because there is a rumor that you are having relations with a minor’.   I think this boss wanted to believe that as a 'white female' I was some kind of an aggressor in some sort of inappropriate scene, which is totally not my style (I will check your passport lads).   Well that is just a bizarre rumor, and I had to quit that company, because rumors don’t die in Korea.

d)      I have been asked  before by a manager in a Korean meeting if I was pregnant (ERRRR NOOOO, wHaT tHe ?!?  I ate some pasta, and I was a little chunky at that moment because I was storing fat for the Korean winter ㅋㅋ).  Some Koreans might oddly assume that Western females are being all sexually active and fertile all over the place… which is just a strange and uncomfortable generalization. 

I will conclude by saying again that although these situations may sound awkward... working life in other countries also presents unique and challenging scenarios... so I will just look at it as an 'Assimilation process' and not try to get too caught up in trying to address stereotyping... ^^ 화이팅 !  ㅋ

Gendered Eating

It may come as no shock to you that Korea is still a somewhat a male-focused patriarchal society.

 

Say whaaaaaat….. ?!

 So you may know that there was, at least in the past, a preference for the birth of male babies over female babies.   This means that there is now a rather big gender percentage imbalance in Korea, particularly amongst men who are hopelessly trying to find a wife right now. There simply were not enough girl babies being born in the 1980s, in Korea.  (I lot of Korean female babies were also adopted by foreign families in the past). And now everyone is thinking; ‘Why aren’t there enough women in Korea?’.  Koreans used to place a lot of emphasis on sons because it was through sons that the traditional family name and family customs would be passed down through the generations. 

Anyway, why am I talking about this ?!? 

I have a lot of older Korean friends (usually 45 years and up), because I like to ask so many questions about the Korean War and about ‘the old Korea’, and also because older Koreans usually offer me more delicious snacks (…what can I say… am I a bad person?).  Actually, the younger generation of Koreans ranging from 21-30 seem very disinterested in political discussions and seem very focused on wealth and careers, so I rarely break into an awesome historical/political discussion with a young Korea.  I guess they were not educated that way. 

Also, I am a really big history/social studies nerd.  I also know nothing about luxury products… hence… I LOVE OLD PEOPLE.  I know that by Korean custom, I am not technically ‘friends’ with someone who is 30 years older than me, and it is highly improbable in Korean culture to have that kind of ‘friend’.  But, as a foreigner, I choose to hang out with Korean old people as much as I like and I generally tag along to their Chuseok dinners and take notes. 

Ok… that was my rather non-brief introduction.  Absurdly long…

So… one of the common themes that older Korean women often bring up with me is the old family structure prior to heavy industrialization (a rather broad ‘time period’ which covers my lack of actual investigation into the time period…hmm).  I have heard the story a number of times, that in the ‘olden times’, Korean men in the family (father, grandfather, sons) would sit together and they would eat first at meal times.  They would receive the best food in the house.  Korea experienced many famines during and prior to the Korean war, so there wasn’t often a lot of food to go around for a large Korean family.  So, the men would receive an egg or two, or a small portion of meat. 

The women of the family (mother, grandmother, sisters) would often eat after the men ate, and they would receive only some kimchi, and a small portion of vegetables or rice.  The way that this was explained to me was like this;

‘When I was young, and growing up in Korea, men were the important members of the family.  Females were never allowed to eat any of the high-nutrition food in the home.  My mother was usually the last to eat, and she always ate the least’.   (*** this has been paraphrased)

A number of older Korean women often have quite a few negative things to say about their fathers;

‘My father and brothers always ate the best food.  What was left for me?’    (***translated from Korean to English)

I was always a bit uncomfortable when, at Chuseok 추석 (Korean Thanksgiving) I watched the men sit down and eat rigorously together, while the women prepared the food, served the food, and did not eat any of the food.  Of course, I mention this topic because I can again see a lot of overlaps between ‘old Korea’ and my Mother’s Italian family mannerisms. 

My brother and I spent a lot of time with my Italian Nonna and Nonna (할머니 와 할아버지) when we were growing up (due to two working parents).  I was born in 1984.  My younger brother was born in 1987.  My Italian Nonna taught me the ‘virtues’ of being a female.  She taught me that it was important to clean the house, otherwise I would not satisfy my (future) husband.  She also taught me to be a ‘nice girl’ and said I should not close my door if my boyfriend visits the house.  Nonna also told me to brush my hair (nooooo…!!!).  In contrast to this female-teaching method, my Nonna let my brother do anything that he wanted.  My brother never had to clean anything, or have ‘mini-lectures’ on virtues.  He played cricket outside.  I was angry.

However, my Nonna did gave equal attention to both my brother and I when she gave her; ‘Watch your drink and don’t take drugs’ speeches.  We got those speeches twice a day.

Anyway, one thing that stands out for me growing up as a vague Italian-Australian is that in terms of eating, Italian families are somewhat gender-biased.  (That said, things have probably changed in Italy considerably since the 80s).  This Italian-gender-food-bias occurred to me again recently when I thought about the fact that my brother stands at 183cm in height, and I stand at a sad 169cm.  My height is not so miserable, but I generally don't see such a huge height gap between younger brothers and older sisters.  And I started to wonder if it was partly cultural, and not just genetic.  Related more specifically to nutrition.

My younger brother and I in Barcelona, Summer 2011... I look pretty short... ;

My Italian Nonna is lovely, but I know she prefers boys to girls. 

Italian mothers are just like that, I guess.  There is a word in Italian that sounds like 'mammoni' which refers to a phenomenon where Italian boys are so overloved by their mothers that they develop this crazy bond and become the BIGGEST MAMMA BOYS of the world.  It's terrifying.  Anyway, when my Nonna sees my brother she goes completely nuts, and she is pulling dead animals out of the fridge, and the pasta is boiling, and she starts preparing an Italian meal for an entire military base...

Let's just say that she doesn't quite show me half of that kind of enthusiasm (perhaps because I am female) but I still love my Nonna anyway.  Since I was very young, I always knew that at the dinner table, my brother would be offered a second and third plate of polenta or gnocchi.  I was never so lucky.  It was rare that I would be asked.  Generally speaking, I am quite a huge eater, even though I do not often eat conventionally (custard and broccoli...mmm....).  But, my Nonna usually directed her attention at feeding my younger brother and my father.  I was left to fend for myself.  This Nonna-style reinforced the idea for me that; 'Males are important in the family and they need to be strong, but females are not as integral to the family and they require less nutrition'...

I think this old-Italian style is not so dissimilar from the Old-Korean thinking.

The same idea goes for the 'open-fridge' policy. 

I am of the opinion that ALL GRANDPARENTS AND PARENTS should have an OPEN-FRIDGE POLICY. That is, if you visit your parent's house or your grandparent's house, you should technically be able to open their fridge, reach in, and eat anything you like.  Is this going too far?  I say NO.  It should be one of the perks of being related to somebody, in my opinion.

Anyway, if I visit my Nonna's house, I always know that there will be something delicious in the fridge.  Salami.  Cheese.  Olives.  White wine.  More salami.  The mind boggles at the possibilities.  However, I always get in trouble for eating something from Nonna's fridge.  My brother is allowed to eat anything.  ANYTHING.  I can't handle it.  I know it is because I am not male.  It irks me, a bit.  My mother agrees that YES, my Nonna does encourage my brother and father to eat more.  But my mother always says this;

"Remember that your Nonna grew up on a poor farm in Italy.  She finished her formal education when she was only 11.  She knows nothing of gender politics.  Settle down.'

My mother has said this to me more than enough times, but I still can not quite accept it.  This makes me feel like I can relate to Korean women slightly, because in Korea there is an old belief that; 'A married daughter is no longer a daughter'.  Meaning, Italian and Korean families expected (in the past) that their daughters would marry and leave the house, so they may have fed them less because they felt it was more viable to invest in the nutrition and health of their sons.  So yes, to an extent I have always felt (at least in part) that my family would barter and then sell me to a man for 400 cows, or something equally as valuable.  (I'm half joking...or not).

Furthermore, when I am on a date at a Korean restaurant with a Korean male I usually get this comment; 

'WOAH WOAH WOOOOAHHHH... You eat so much.  You eat like 5X more than Korean females'. 

Yes, I have to agree.  I am a very big eater, and Western girls are often bigger than Korean girls...and...Western girls are perhaps less awkward about eating masses of 곱창 (pork intestines) in front of a male.  In fact, I could probably challenge a Korean male to a 곱창 (pork intestines) eating competition.  It may be linked to my pent-up anxiety about gendered-eating...

So, I will just say that regardless of my gender...

I will eat... even if it is not a good investment for my Italian family... and I will also still continue to open Nonna's fridge, even though I am female...

Toy Syringes in Korea

I almost shouted in the library yesterday. 

A korean kindergarten student was holding a syringe with blood in it.

 ‘NO NO NOOOOooooooooo !!

 DON’T DON’T PLAY WITH THAT!!  NOOOO!!! 

I know there are certain things that are shocking for Westerners, and not at all shocking for Koreans.  And vice versa.

This was shocking for me.

It did not take me too long to figure out the ‘syringe’ that the Korean child was holding was NOT IN FACT AN ACTUAL SYRINGE, but rather, a toy-pen syringe (with fake blood in it that swishes around...).

AM I BEING OVER DRAMATIC?

It might be an example of a cultural difference, but I can’t understand who would come up with an idea of creating and marketing stationery for children that resembles SYRINGES WITH BLOOD IN THEM.  Seeing cute Korean kids with syringes in their hands is not cool, and it is at best creepy… at worst it looks rather terrifying.  

I think that culturally syringes may mean different things symbolically for different people.  I decided to go to my local stationery store and buy some of these seemingly popular 'Syringe pens'.  They were very easy to find, and I noticed that the pens had the label; 'LOVE DOCTOR', on them... which is not what springs to mind when I think of syringes...

For Koreans, perhaps...

SYRINGE = DOCTOR, HEALTH, HELPING PEOPLE.

For Australians, perhaps...

SYRINGE = HEROINE, OVERDOSE, HIV/AIDS, PAIN, DIE.

These Australian syringe-associations are why I feel that syringes are not perhaps an appropriate toy for kids to play with.  ...Am I being over dramatic?

Other Koreans do not seem alarmed by 'Syringe-pens'.  The reason why I am scared of syringes is because in Australia, Sydneysiders are somewhat concerned about coming into contact with syringes on the beach or in the park.

Unfortunately, it is not easy to escape or tiptoe around drug culture in Australia. 

When I was 19, my first apartment in Sydney was in a rich-poor (ghetto) inner-city district known as Woolloomooloo. 

There was more than one drug-related stabbing in front of my apartment building, and my building manager let tennants know about drug crime in the area.  On one side of my building there was a giant wharf boasting huge developments and million dollar yachts.  Russell Crowe lived in an apartment at the end of the wharf (not kidding, although I never saw him around...).  On the other side of my building, was a slum.  I could look out of my window and see transvestite hookers stumble back into our building at 6am.  I saw people selling 'something' to suits and homeless people.  There was the occasional syringe under a tree. 

I don't want to paint a bad picture of Sydney like; 'rats, syringes, corporate cocaine' or anything like that... Sydney is adorable and diverse. 

I just wanted to point out that I feel relieved that I don't have to be aware of syringes in Korea, unless or course, a little korean child is writing a science essay with a fake syringe.

This got me thinking again about how different the drug culture between Australia and Korea is.  Quite a number of Koreans ask me about marijuana, because of course, 'drugs are a white culture issue'...  Culturally, drugs are not a part of the Korean scene and the Korean government has been very tight in protecting the general public from drugs.  On a related front, the Korean government doesn't appear to have many policies related to HIV/AIDS (although the Korean government screens foreigners for HIV/AIDS).

In contrast, the Australian media will try to convince you that your cat is intravenously injecting drugs.  Sydney newspapers run stories about a new street-drug that is turning people into uncontrollable zombies.  I never see these kinds of stories in the Korean media.  I have never seen a syringe lying on the ground in Korea.  When I lived in Sydney, there were 'safe injecting rooms' for heroine users, where heroine addicts could find new and clean syringes to inject without the added concern of infection from used needles. 

I don't think there are methadone programs, or 'safe-injecting' rooms in Korea, because I think that there may only be a grand total of 4 people in the whole country who are intravenous drug users (not counting insulin).  That said, (as usual) I am probably way off with my statistics on this one...

The Oppressed Korean Farmer

(A mid 20th picture of a Korean farmer.  Photo Source: hawaii.edu)

 What is an acceptable occupation for a Korean man?

a) Samsung worker

b) Doctor

c) Lawyer/Government Official

d) Farmer

The answers A,B, and C are all correct.  The answer D is entirely incorrect.  I will give you a short brief on occupation-philosophy in Korea, and then I will explain why D is not a suitable occupation for a man living in modern Korea.

Introduction...

In every country, certain occupations may be held in higher esteem than others.  Universally, perhaps, doctors may hold a high position in every society, by virtue of the speciality and high education levels required in the profession.  Government official positions in most countries are also highly respected globally (if, that is, the government is considered important by a nation’s people). 

Across cultures and borders, some occupations are not perceived across the board as respectable and high level positions.  For example, in Korea, a ‘shaman’ (mystical religious forecaster) is perceived as a somewhat respectable and traditional position in Korean society (some Korean Christians may disagree with this).  However, in Western countries ‘shamans’ are  much more difficult to find, and they may be perceived as belonging to a; ‘new-age hippy with a drug problem’ genre.  Shamans mean completely different things to different countries and cultures. 

Some rather handsome Korean company workers....  ;

(Photo Source: monthlychosun.com)

Korean Confucianism ranks some professions above others…

Another example where Korea differs with other countries (in terms of respect for occupations) is the status of the teacher.  In Australia, teaching is not usually a highly paid industry and teachers are often not respected by the general public.  The Australian public may consider teaching to be; ‘the lazy man/woman’s job’, compared to industries such as accounting, working for the government, or working in the Science profession. 

For the American discussion on whether teachers are career losers, see the Grindstone; http://thegrindstone.com/strategy/are-teachers-career-failures/.  Australian teachers resent the fact that their position in society is not very good, and teachers regularly protest against the government with their labour unions.  Teachers in Korea, however, are met with a lot of praise and admiration.  Korea embraces the Confucian notion that a teacher holds wisdom and should be admired and respected. 

Basic ways that Confucianism affects Modern Korean Employment:

* Confucius says that; Men are above women and men should always hold a higher position than women. (well.... it is still difficult to find female CEOs and managers in many Korean professional industries...)

* Confucius says that; You should respect people who are older than you.  Modern Korean companies still have a 'senior-junior' culture where your superior should not be younger than you.

* Confucius says that; Ritual is important.  Korean companies aim to instill ritual and consistency through many group-company activities, such as 'MT' (membership training camps) and 회식 company dinners/drinking.

Modern Korea is heavily influenced by the Confucius ideals of loyalty and duty...

...but A LOT has changed through Korea's transition from an agricultural economy to a Financial/Technological Powerhouse.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE KOREAN FARMERS?

Farmers are not visible in Modern Korean culture:

Korean popular music and dramas paint a very glamorous image of Korean life.  Korean music videos and dramas may leave you thinking that every Korean owns an enormous white apartment (Secret Garden) and has a butler/body guard following them around (아가씨를 부탁해). I haven’t seen any popular Korean dramas about Farmers (although, farmers may possibly feature in some Korean historical dramas).

'Real Korean life' is supposedly not related to agriculture... ;

(Photo Source: lucell.tistory.com)

In Australia, there are popular Australian dramas about farming families (see McCleod's Daughters…), even though I didn’t really watch Australian drama series (my favourite TV shows are probably US series... Arrested Development, or The L Word). 

There was also a somewhat popular reality show that featured in the US and Australia called; ‘Farmer Wants a Wife'.  The premise of the show is that 10 attractive women (some very very highly educated) compete in rounds to win the heart and engagement ring of a Farmer.  Yes, a FARMER.  Australian and American cultures don't appear to have any stigma related to marrying a farmer.  On the contrary, it seems like a viable option, because you can PLAY WITH HORSES... how awesome is that !?!  (Korean society, however, has a lot of negative stigma associated with marrying a Farmer...)

Here we have some ladies competing to marry this American farmer... *omg* ;   (ick...)

(Photo Source: zimbio.com)

There are a lot of popular images of farmers and farming culture in Australian and American culture.  If I download American billboard chart music, perhaps 20% of it will be Country Music, and there are always some hilarious chorus lines such as; ‘Plough you in the fields’ and what not…   Country music (linked very directly to farming culture) is a huge industry in the US and Australia (what other countries listen to country music?  Canada? Probably not Germany, but I could be wrong). 

I don't really see images of Korean farmers or agricultural life in Korean media or entertainment... I don't even think there is a 'Korean Country Music' genre (tell me if I am wrong...).

The Glamorized version of the Australian farmer (sometimes known as a 'jackaroo');

(Photo Source: iwatchstuff.com)

The Korean Farmer is not very popular with Korean ladies:

It sometimes feels like Korean culture pushes men towards working for Samsung or some other well recognized Korean conglomerate.  Some of my male Korean friends have expressed sadness, because if they do not work for a large  and powerful Korean company, they often have trouble finding sex.  That is, my Korean male friends feel that Korean women rarely look at them if their company is not Samsung (LG, Hyundai, Posco, and Lotte follow behind). It is very hard for Korean men to perform well on a blind date (소개팅, a common and traditional way for singles to meet each other) if they can not demonstrate their excellent company name and thus, ‘excellent’ salary. 

So… even for the average Korean guy living in Seoul, it is difficult to meet girls and get married. 

For the Korean farmer, who lives in the countryside, this situation is 100 timesX WORSE. 

Dating and marital-negotiations are extremely complex in Korea, so families often scrutinize potential marital partners for months until it is decided that two individuals are appropriate for marriage.  It is highly unlikely that average Korean parents would encourage or allow their daughter to even consider marrying a Korean farmer.  The reason is simple.  Koreans generally believe that the Farmers of Korea do not pertain to a suitable (high) social class, and they also believe that the Farmer's salary will not be adequate to care for a wife and children in Korean society.  Moreover, Korean women are generally quite picky when they select a potential fiancée, so Korean women often prefer to marry a man who has a standard company job (or government official position), and men who live in Seoul are often picked over men who live in the more distant provinces. 

The Korean celery farmer:

(Photo Source: 2space.net)

Buying a foreign wife:

The above-mentioned factors lead to the Korean farmer being marginalized socially and culturally by his society and the Korean Farmer may find that while his job is difficult, it may be even more of a life-struggle to find a Korean wife.   The Korea National Statistic Office states that over 40% of Korean farmers and fishermen have registered a foreign wife with a Korean government office.  This is a substantial portion of the farming population, for it to be considered a ‘trend’.  Not only does that mean that a large quantity of foreign women in Korea are now living rural areas, but it also means that the demographics in rural Korea are starting to change heavily.  Masses of young Korean men and women are moving to Seoul, Incheon, Bundang, and other urbanized areas for education and employment opportunities.  The farmers are being left behind, so they look to Korean international-marriage brokers to find a potential wife to be imported from Vietnam, China, Thailand, the Philippines, and even occasionally as far away as Uzbekistan and Russia.  The Korean government has even attempted to independently import Korean-Chinese (ethnically Korean) women to South Korea to marry with rural Koreans who can not naturally find a wife on their own. 

A serious-looking Korean with a Filipina bride.. ;

(Photo Source: igoo.com)

I am frequently surprised to hear that NO KOREAN woman is interested in marrying a farmer, because I am from a very isolated mining town in Australia, where farmers are kind of hip.  The population of my hometown is hovering at around 19,000 people.  The surrounding countryside is barren desert, and there are a few ‘farming areas’ known as ‘stations’ (the Australian label for a ‘ranch’).  My hometown is filled with people who are somehow linked to mining industries or farming industries.  A number of girls from my high school have gone on to live on a ‘station’, or train horses, or be somehow linked to the agricultural industry around my hometown.  It is not weird or unwholesome at all.  In fact, if anyone can ride a horse and shoot a rabbit from 100 metres, I think that they have some rather impressive skills.  In Australia, women also participate heavily in the agricultural industries.  Some girls from my Sydney college were from agricultural towns and they knew how to sheer sheep, ride horses, and handle cows giving birth (WOAH...messy).

Nicole Kidman...the Australian female farmer (?) 하하 ;

(Photo Source: justjared.buzznet.com)

Protests:

Korean farmers have been protesting for a number of years about their lack of support from the Korean government. Korea’s Free Trade Agreements between the US and also China have also caused mass protests by Korean farmers.  The Korean government continues to import rice from China, which has caused a number of Korean rice farmers to fall even further below the poverty line.  Over 50% of Korean farmers who have a foreign wife and biracial children fall below the poverty line in Korea. 

In Australia, there are some government subsidies that aim to help out farmers who are experiencing massive economic loss due to extreme seasonal changes or natural disasters (I believe there was 'economic relief' to assist banana farmers in Australia who lost everything in the heavy Queensland floods... fill me in if I am incorrect!).

...Let's all be friends with a Korean farmer...

It's not an easy job, and agriculture is important for every economy.